So Anna has been on Ritalin since August. As much as I hate to admit it, it makes all the difference for her.

We've known for several years that she has learning disabilities. After a long struggle with the school district, we had her tested. Sure enough, she has a visual memory disability, a processing speed disability, and a fine motor disability. Honestly, once she got involved with the district's special needs program, I thought that would be the end of it. Smooth sailing, right? Wrong.

She did much better in school, but she still had a really hard time focusing. Hell, at home, it takes her ten minutes to put her shoes on because she gets distracted by the pretty pretty curtains or couch or whatever. She laughs when I tell her this, but she agrees she just can't focus.

Darren definitely had ADD growing up, and really felt badly for Anna. I felt badly too, but I figured that she just needed to snap out of it, for crying out loud. Mind over matter, right? ADD is just a made-up diagnosis for lazy parents and teachers, right? So what if it takes her four hours to finish her homework.

But there was certainly something going on that we needed to help her with, so we pursued a diagnosis with her doctor. I was honestly thinking he give us some info on how to handle things at home, and we'd get another diagnosis to add to her Individual Education Plan, and that would be that.

Well, Dr. Heyl kept evaluating and evaluating. I think she had four appointments with him, all full of testing and questionaires. I knew where things were headed, but I was still adament--no child of mine would be on drugs. It meant I failed as a parent, after all.

Darren really was the one that organized and took Anna to these appointments. After the last one, he called me at work. Told me that we finally had a diagnosis, and that Dr. Heyl had recommended starting Ritalin right away, and had written a prescription for such. I was furious. How dare he even recommend it?!

And then Darren told me he had already filled it, that he didn't want Anna to go through the hell that he did during middle school, and that he was fully ready to face my wrath to give his child a chance at a halfway normal middle school experience. Besides, if we noticed anything, we could take her off the drug.

So I caved. Darren very rarely takes the initiative, so I knew it was important to him. And part of me just knew it wouldn't make any difference and she wouldn't be on it for long anyway.

How wrong I was. The kid has totally proved me wrong, dammit. She's a completely different person. We used to get excited when she'd bring a B home. Now she's been on the honor roll for two quarters. She has patience and self-confidence and drive and is even happier. Hell, she hugs me spontaneously now.

The damned pill has made all the difference in the world of my daughter. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm grateful for it.

My three good things today?

1. Anna
2. Honor Roll
3. Ritalin